I’m doomed.

I could probably just leave it at that, but perhaps I should elaborate…

So, I was really nervous, but excited, about starting the top level class. I should have been adequately put off by looking through the textbook, but I figured I should give it a go. Onozaki Sensei seems to be a great teacher—but he talks so fast and the discussion and level was coming out way over my head. By the end of the morning—the second break, actually—I figured that I’m just not ready for this.

I’ve asked to go back and repeat the level two class because I know I’m not going to be happy or productive as things are now. There’s just too much I’ve forgotten and I’m not up for stress right now. It wasn’t like I did stellar work two years ago anyway, and there’s so much I need to review and learn again in the Genki 2 textbook.

Paul-san said to give it a try through the end of the day and see how it went—I still felt the same way. The pace and level was relentless, and I didn’t feel like I learned anything but rather that I was just barely hanging on by my fingernails. That’s not what I wanted to get out of my time here. In one way, I feel like I’m wimping out, but hey, it’s my money. I’d rather reinforce what I know and learn it more perfectly than be freaked out for 4 weeks.

At the end of the afternoon, it was time for the around-the-room round-robin with all the conversation partners. It was kind of fun, and somehow it seems like all of the Japanese CPs this year are studying Indonesian! As usual, I had a very hard time remembering anyone’s name (hey, I can’t even do it in English), but I tried really hard. BTW, my regular lunchtime CPs Ryohei and Taka are both great. Unlike the long, silent lunchtimes two years ago, I actually felt like I could have a conversation. Of course, I’ve probably run out of everything I can converse about and still have 3 1/2 weeks left…

So anyway, we’ll see what happens next. I’m wondering whether I should spend time doing the Level 3 homework tonight or pull out my Genki 2 book and study chapter 1 again…